Sometimes we think we know what we want, only to find that getting what we want doesn't satisfy what we really need. In Mark 2 what the paralytic thought he wanted was healing for his paralysis, when Jesus tells him what he really wants is for his sins to be forgiven. It is this desperation, or inspiration, that brings this man to Jesus. Obviously, there's no inspiration, but a desperate need arises for him to seek healing from One who can give it. "If only I could walk again, then my life would be right. I'd never be unhappy, I'd never be discontented. I would never complain. If only I could walk then everything would be right." Jesus is saying, you're mistaken. What we need to realize is that the main problem in a person's life is never their suffering, it is their sin. Jesus asks the main question when He says to the paralytic, "What is easier to say, 'Your sins are forgiven or rise up and walk'." In a worldly sense it is easier to say "your sins are forgiven" than to "rise up and walk", but in a spiritual sense it is easier to say "rise up and walk," for any miracle worker can do that, but only God the Son can forgive your sins. Faith to believe this is a gift of God.
Jesus is driving you deep. He is saying, "By coming to me and simply asking for your body to be healed, you're not going deep enough. I'm the only Savior that will fulfill you." But you say you just want to turn over a new leaf, you just want to change a few things. However, you must ask for the very thing your heart most wants, and that is a relationship with Jesus. His journey to the cross begins with His declaration that our sins are forgiven, and regardless of how many inadequacies we have, He loves us through them all. Now out of our desperation comes God's inspiration, and He saves us.